do you remember the first time you were called annoying?
how your breath stopped short in your chest
the way the light drained from your eyes, though you knew your cheeks were ablaze
the way your throat tightened as you tried to form an argument that got lost on your tongue.
your eyes never left the floor that day.
you were 13.
you’re 20 now, and i still see the light fade from your eyes when you talk about your interests for “too long,”
apologies littering every other sentence,
words trailing off a cliff you haven’t jumped from in 7 years.
i could listen to you forever, though i know speaking for more than 3 uninterrupted minutes makes you anxious.
all i want you to know is that you deserve to be heard
for 3 minutes
for 10 minutes
for 2 hours
there will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty, your wisdom, your heart;
mostly because they can’t handle their own.
but you will never be
and have never been
”—"this started as something completely different, but everything comes back to you, doesn’t it?" - tyler ford (via tylerthelatteboy)
My last three posts were (a) an exceedingly nerdy and tongue-in-cheek ask response about dating and statistics, (b) a photo of a pint of artisanal pickles purchased in Brooklyn, and (c) a filtered Instagram photo of trendy software engineers playing hacky sack in front of a 19th century woodworking factory converted into office space for a craft and vintage website.
“I feel like Jews of all belief levels will still get Judaism on this (online quiz), because regardless of practice, we have all been primed to equate religion with eating.”—girl-detective, delivering truths about this quiz.
I like to say that my son's first word was "hungry"--because when he was two weeks old, he made sound like "hungeee". And as a first word, for him, it fits. Appropriately, his first four syllable word was "guacamole".
Guacamole is a fantastic first four syllable word.
I was quite late talking, probably because I always had my grandmother and older sisters doting on me that language was unnecessary.
Apparently, when I finally did start talking, it was in full sentences. Because, of course I did.
Nobody remembers the first thing I said, likely because I am the youngest of three and nobody really cared to make a note of it at that point.
Step 1: You know that light on top of the cab? The one that hasn’t been on for any of the six taxis you grumbled about when they passed you without stopping? Try waiting for one that has that lit. I hear those taxis don’t hate you because you do not live here.
Step 2: Ask the driver to take you to JFK. Tip the driver well.
I studied Computer Engineering at the Bachelor’s and Master’s level at the University of Toronto, in downtown Toronto, Ontario, Canada. UofT is among the top universities in the world. I’m quite proud of my alma mater.
During graduate school and for years after (even while working full-time), I did freelance database application development. After my Master’s on Parallel Computer Architecture, I worked for a few years at IBM in Markham, Ontario on the JIT optimizing back-end of their enterprise Java compiler.
I left IBM to finish up some of my Master’s research and then took a different tack and started interviewing with a number of tech companies in New York, eventually moving countries to work at Etsy. I love it there!
You’ll recognize her easily. She’s the one with a sharp mind of her own and tendency to speak what’s on it. She’s the one who has brought a classic novel with her to read in the doctor’s office waiting room so she isn’t stuck with People magazine. Her clothes are sensible most of the time and her style isn’t always based on fads. You’ll find her at a retail store thanking the staff because she knows what a difficult and thankless job they likely have, or at the DMV with her paperwork already filled out because she hates waiting almost as much as she hates people that expect everything to be done for them.
Date her because she’s great to chat with. She’ll talk circles around you on the topics she’s knowledgeable about, she’ll ask good questions learning about the topics she isn’t. Pursue a relationship with her because her opinion will mean something to you. You’ll bitch about your job in the evening and you’ll have a plan of attack by morning. She’ll call you out when you’ve done something stupid. She’ll side against you if she thinks you are wrong. You’ll be taken aback, but she’ll force you to rethink, reevaluate and see things from another point of view.
Go out to dinner with a woman who can make a reasoned argument. Disagree with her and learn something. Enjoy sharing a meal with a woman who is as pleased to be proven right as to be proven wrong, because she has either taught or learned.
She’ll have her unreasonable moments, as do we all. She will probably even acknowledge she’s unreasonable, maybe even in the middle of being so. Whether she apologizes or not, you’ll know she’s better than that. You’ll find you have no need to hear “sorry” because you’ll appreciate everything you know of her more knowing the emotional turbulence she handles, daily.
Date a woman who challenges you and you’ll grow as a person. You’ll respect yourself more when you’re around her. You’ll be annoyed a surprising amount of the time, sure, but that will pale by comparison with the time you spend wondering what she sees in you (though you know she has reasons that are well thought out and unwavering).
Spend all the time you can with her so that when you grow apart you’ll know you spent your time wisely.
If that doesn’t happen, marry her if she’ll have you. Spend the rest of your life being simultaneously infuriated and awed by a woman who will hold you down and lift you up in the most important ways.