- Drunk guy: Hey, you look like Superman but not him, the other guy, with the glasses, whassisname...
- Me: Clark Kent?
- DG: Yeah, Clark Kent. Totally.
- M: Totally.
- DG: But shorter.
- M: Yeah.
- DG: You got any weed?
- M: No weed.
- DG: No worries.
- ...
- DG: You must hate kryptonite, man.
- M: Yeah.
April 2011
Someone asked me a question. I was in the middle of saying “no” when I saw how crestfallen she was. So, it came out:
NOYBE
No. Mostly because I don’t see how that could be done. I’m sure you could hook up your computer to the Kindle, use it as USB storage and then output your computer’s display to the TV, but anyone dumb enough to think that this is a worthwhile enterprise wouldn’t know how to do it.
That being said, I’m sure there are people dumb enough to think they want to do that. Somewhere out there is an idiot thinking:
How can I make this lightweight, easy-to-use, easy-to-read device display in some sort of horrible-to-read, painful way?
The celebrity crushes you are posting are just a smokescreen.
- Me: Finally, a milk that doesn't give me indigestion!
- My Body: See? I told you. You need to have calcium. HOWEVER, I WILL MAKE IT AS DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO OBTAIN IT IN LARGE QUANTITIES!
- Me: Fuck you.
- My Body: Don't think you won't pay for that.
- Her: Well, you're a minority, too.
- Me: Yeah, but not a visible one.
- Her: Fine, you're an invisible minority.
- Me: OOOoooOOO. Boogity boogity boogity!
- Her: What the hell? You're an invisible MINORITY. You, yourself, are not invisible!
wehavenootherchoice: THAT IS SO FRIGGIN COOL!!!!
NEAT!
![]()
At Christmas, I wished we still lived in Toronto so I could find an open Jewish deli and have matzo ball soup. Even in Toronto it’s hard to find anything open.
Chinese restaurants and a handful of bowling alleys. That’s what we do on Christmas.