I’m so happy for you, Jess and Jason. I’m loving all the photos and snark from half of my dashboard, because so many of the people I know and love are either with you in person, or sharing your day with you via the Internet in their underpants. I wish you nothing but the best. At least the best stuff you haven’t already claimed today in front of TJ.
The hangar office announces they're going into...
Some of the patrons look at each other and ask “What do you mean think that means?” Then, from behind us where the instructors are packing chutes, we hear, quite loudly and in a few different voices: “WHOA” and then “WE’RE USING CODES NOW?” Glad I’ve already jumped and don’t need a boost of confidence.
Another hour or so until we start getting ready to...
It appears to be a nice day for skydiving. As far as I know. Which isn’t far.
I will be able to say that I’ve taken off in a plane more times than I’ve landed in one.
Peaches, a haiku
I eat more peaches The juice flows, sensually So I must change shirts.
Everyday I’m shuffling.– Suicide note of depressed Blackjack dealer
DICKGREES ARE NOT A UNIT OF MEASUREMENT
There. I said it.
Anonymous asked: Sorry I'm only 15 and I don't speak very well english. I mean to say your life is always perfect and you have a gentle wife and now I don't understand why you are sad. I wish you could not be sad!
Commas don't bite, hard.
Anonymous asked: Why are you so deep lately?
I've never been good at following through with...
Still, I’ve never given one like this before. I only hope I’m not the only one with strength of conviction.
You don’t have an askbox and I can’t Fan Mail you yet and don’t want to wait. How long have you been on Tumblr? Have you tried Missing e yet? Weird having people I know follow me. Well, people I knew before Tumblr. How’s life?
Hey, people making positive comments about...
Please, take a look at the cost and bandwidth for our smartphone plans. You might just need some universal health care afterward.
BEST COMMENT IN THE RAINBOW OREO PICTURE ON...
gaymerlag: “some of you are going to sh*t yourselves when you open a bag of skittles.”
So, with a tip from Jason, I am now 500 business...
For way less than $20.
The printer just called to offer me another 500...
It is a FANTASTIC price, but I only ordered 250 and already got 500. I’d have to drop my card in a whole lot of free lunch bowls at restaurants to use 1000.
Apparently, Saskatchewan is the new Alberta.– My friend Jessica, looking for a chemical engineering job
When you are dealing with a terrible life event,...
This time, a pun in ten did.
Watching YouTube videos of babies eating lemons…
in an effort to drown out some extremely unwanted mental imagery.
That’s what I think I need.
Mayor Rob Ford visited my wife's brewery today
I couldn’t convince her to orchestrate an ‘industrial accident’, though.
My knuckles are sore because they don’t make doorframes out of marshmallows. Damn them and damn their choice of sensible building materials. Sometimes I just freeze and it feels like coherence is just leaking out of my eye sockets. I ordered pizza for my first meal of the day when I discovered a few minutes ago that I was hungry. I am both pleased and disturbed that I’ve been...
I am going to blather on
I am going to continue saying some slightly worrying things. I am likely not going to publicly say why. Please believe me when I tell you that I am not doing it for attention. It is only because screaming into my pillow has never been therapeutic for me, but yelling in crowds is. I have to siphon off negative feelings so I can focus on making the difficult decisions with a (somewhat) level...
I don't want to be by myself right now
I don’t know how to handle this when I’m alone. I’ve never been good at being by myself at the best of times and this surely isn’t one of those. Just because someone is capable of (relatively) calmly steering through life’s really nasty bits doesn’t mean they should have to. I’m calm and trying to be respectful, but parts of me want to yell and scream...
Drink cactus juice. It’ll quench ya! Nothing’s quenchier. It’s the quenchiest! ...– Sokka