Happy National Siblings Day!
These two used to trap me in laundry baskets. They’d let me stay up late. They’d take all the good parts of dinner before I had a chance to. They vetted my relationships (often without me wanting them to), supported me when I had problems with our parents and got me into the best kinds of trouble.
I love them both very much.
The difference between treason and patriotism is only a matter of dates.
Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.
if you want information it is
and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin
why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?
There’s the hufflepuff
I feel like Jews of all belief levels will still get Judaism on this (online quiz), because regardless of practice, we have all been primed to equate religion with eating.
work email pun of the day (backlog)
sorry for how long this has taken (not sorry). they’re going backwards from today.
- what are you when you are running in front of a car? tired. what are you when you are running behind a car? exhausted.
- two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. one hat says to the other, “you stay here, I’ll go on a head”.
- how do you make a fruit punch? give it boxing lessons.
- what do you call a frenchman that’s been attacked by a bear? claude
- what do you call a lawyer that lives in a swamp? An alitigator!
- i met a girl at a soccer game. I think she’s a keeper.
- what do you call a sleepwalking nun? a roamin’ catholic
- what do you call a bear without teeth? a gummi bear!
CHSH: Still Need A Room?
If you are thinking about coming to Chicagoish this month, please note that I have a 2 double bed room for Friday and Saturday nights and nobody yet to split it with.
Yesterday, I got a promotion and then went out drinking and dancing all night.
Today, I went on a date with this cute, smart girl who is most definitely my type. Statistically speaking, I’m sure I won’t hear from her again.
Tomorrow, I’m having brunch in Greenwich Village and then rushing off to Penn Station to head upstate for a week for work.
I managed to finish my cleaning and prepping for this work trip in the midst of all that.
I am so, so tired.
As I’ve mentioned, my team at work has a really abhorrent habit of reading my Tumblr.
I’m not sure what I did to our Product Designer, but this is apparently the result. I mean, it’s fine, but that pause at the end is pretty mean.
Awful, awful people. I love working with them.
We watched this in our weekly milestones meeting at work today. Trust me you need to watch this with sound.