This is the ONLY reason I don’t actually like streaming the playoffs from the CBC. Don Cherry is a jackwagon. Why does Canada put him on TV?
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This is the ONLY reason I don’t actually like streaming the playoffs from the CBC.

Don Cherry is a jackwagon. Why does Canada put him on TV?

WHAT. THE. EVER-LOVING. FUCK?

Wake the fuck up, Leafs.

Oh, it’s on, Boston. We’ll be seeing you in a few days.
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Oh, it’s on, Boston. We’ll be seeing you in a few days.

Why You Should Root for a Habs-Leafs Playoff Series

If this series actually happens, Canada might just shut down for a few weeks.

Sorry, America, you’re going to need to figure out how to make your own maple syrup and sketch comedy for a while. Our fine nation should be back to normal by Round 2.

Well, the half of the country that still exists, at least.

Q:How stoked are you to go to an NHL game and not have to pay a minimum of $300 a seat to watch your team lose?

holycrapijust

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Shut up.

I am looking forward to watching my Leafs smack the Rangers around, tonight at the Garden.
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I am looking forward to watching my Leafs smack the Rangers around, tonight at the Garden.

Leafs vs Rangers, April 10 at Madison Square Garden! I heart StubHub. I am avoiding two mistakes I made when I went to the Leafs/Islanders game: won’t be sitting too close to see the action (only partly because I can’t justify the expense) won’t be going anywhere on Long Island (everything there is far away)
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Leafs vs Rangers, April 10 at Madison Square Garden! I heart StubHub.

I am avoiding two mistakes I made when I went to the Leafs/Islanders game:

  • won’t be sitting too close to see the action (only partly because I can’t justify the expense)
  • won’t be going anywhere on Long Island (everything there is far away)
Thursday. Nassau Coliseum on Long Island. Third row, center ice behind the team benches. So much cheaper than a game at the ACC in Toronto.
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Thursday. Nassau Coliseum on Long Island. Third row, center ice behind the team benches.

So much cheaper than a game at the ACC in Toronto.

Neither of those cities should have hockey teams. #Phoenix #Nashville (Taken with Instagram at Real Sports Bar & Grill)
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Neither of those cities should have hockey teams. #Phoenix #Nashville (Taken with Instagram at Real Sports Bar & Grill)

Maggie is going to a Leafs-Flyers game tomorrow night. Courtesy of a supplier.

A) What happened to industrial ethics?

B) That’s the problem with hockey in this city. All the good seats are taken up by people who don’t really care.

Bitch.

You can pry my Leafs shirt from my cold, dead hopes of ever seeing a Stanley Cup win.
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You can pry my Leafs shirt from my cold, dead hopes of ever seeing a Stanley Cup win.

Maggie’s first hockey game. A bit over a year ago. We sat in the gold section at the Air Canada Centre. Toronto lost to Tampa Bay. What the hell does Florida need a hockey team for? Two even?
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Maggie’s first hockey game. A bit over a year ago.

We sat in the gold section at the Air Canada Centre.

Toronto lost to Tampa Bay. What the hell does Florida need a hockey team for? Two even?

C’mon, ladies. Let it out.
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C’mon, ladies. Let it out.

I just attempted to explain to the wife why the Leafs were not in the playoffs. Her reaction when I told her the Leafs don’t spend money to win because they don’t need to win to make obnoxious amounts of money? “That’s fucking stupid.” Yes, my dear. Yes it is. GO CANUCKS!
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I just attempted to explain to the wife why the Leafs were not in the playoffs.

Her reaction when I told her the Leafs don’t spend money to win because they don’t need to win to make obnoxious amounts of money?

“That’s fucking stupid.”

Yes, my dear. Yes it is.

GO CANUCKS!

Now, normally I’m not one for bandwagons. I don’t jump ship. Which is really saying something, since I’m a Leafs fan, and we haven’t won the cup since before my parents even met. I’ll be damned if I want the Lord Stanley’s Mug heading off to Boston, though. Blech. Go Canucks! Really, let us ignore these facts: 65% of Boston’s roster are Canadian boys (17, with 3 Americans, 2 Czechs, 1 Slovak, 1 German, 1 Kazakh and 1 Finn) 53% of Vancouver’s roster are Canadians (17, with 6 Americans, 5 Swedes, 1 Dane, 1 Russian, 1 German and 1 Finn) Really, no matter which NHL team wins, when the cup goes out travelling with the team’s players, it always spends more than half that time north of the 49th, in the true home of the game. Actually, even that’s not accurate, since a large part of that time will be spent in the suburbs of Toronto and Montreal (both of which are south of the 49th parallel).
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Now, normally I’m not one for bandwagons.

I don’t jump ship. Which is really saying something, since I’m a Leafs fan, and we haven’t won the cup since before my parents even met.

I’ll be damned if I want the Lord Stanley’s Mug heading off to Boston, though. Blech.

Go Canucks!

Really, let us ignore these facts:

  • 65% of Boston’s roster are Canadian boys (17, with 3 Americans, 2 Czechs, 1 Slovak, 1 German, 1 Kazakh and 1 Finn)
  • 53% of Vancouver’s roster are Canadians (17, with 6 Americans, 5 Swedes, 1 Dane, 1 Russian, 1 German and 1 Finn)

Really, no matter which NHL team wins, when the cup goes out travelling with the team’s players, it always spends more than half that time north of the 49th, in the true home of the game. Actually, even that’s not accurate, since a large part of that time will be spent in the suburbs of Toronto and Montreal (both of which are south of the 49th parallel).