The last wedding picture.
She’s a brain.
She’s a beauty.
She thinks conversations with subtext are a waste of time.
She looks cute solving differential equations.
She calls me out when I’m being manipulative.
She watches sci-fi and reads SciAm while sitting on the floor in front of the couch.
She plays Nancy Drew video games on her laptop.
She has stuffed animals with very uncreative names like: “dog” and “tiger”.
She drives me up the wall with questions during movies that she doesn’t really want the answer to.
She argues loudly.
She thinks “buttface” is a perfectly acceptable pet name for me.
I married the woman I love.
Maggie looks great in her Manchurian dress (qipao). You don’t have to take my word for it, though it’s hard to find Chinese clothes that are properly cut for her… umm… assets [see wedding reception in China] which is atypical for Asian women, especially when it comes to body-hugging, one-piece dresses.
Most of the kids were already in their pyjamas by this point.
It’s a modern Jewish tradition to lift the bride and groom on chairs during the Hora dance. It can dangerous sometimes, and I’ve definitely seen more than one newlywed tumble to the floor.
Luckily, we’ve got some strong guys in the family. Also, our engineering friends. Leave it to engineers to know how to make their bodies into stable support trusses.
It started snowing partway into dinner.
The photographers dragged us outside for a few quick photos. Good thing, too.
Also, this was not posed, we were playing:
The Maid of Honour’s speech (in which she explains we demonstrate our love for each other through actions, and definitely not with the words we use)
Note: there’s a mention of Maggie losing her Iron Ring, so you might want to read up on its meaning.
“Hi! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Megan, I am the maid of honour, and I want to speak briefly about the Maggie and Jeremy that I know. I met Maggie at the beginning of university, a little over 7 years ago now. We had every class together for 2 years, built our robot together in 2nd year, and in 4th year took our elective together. Still, as close as we are, neither of us are the type to talk much about our personal relationships, especially when they are going well.
So I first met Jeremy when Maggie started bringing him to hang out with us in Suds (the engineering bar), in Jan or Feb of 3rd year, just about 5 years ago. She never told us they were dating or even introduced him as her boyfriend, so we just kind of figured it out. From the very beginning they seemed to click, and complement each other very well. I remember thinking that Maggie seemed very happy, happier than I had seen her in a long time, maybe ever.
After our final exams of university 2 years later we took a graduation trip to Cuba. On a day trip to Havana, aboard a bus, Maggie dropped her iron ring, which at that point we had only had for 2 or 3 months. Jeremy started basically crawling around trying to find the ring, which on a moving bus could have rolled pretty much anywhere. I remember thinking that there was no way he was going to be able to find it, but a few minutes later he did.
Both Maggie and Jeremy tend to show how they feel about each other through actions rather than words. As some may know, the words they use often don’t make it sound like they love each other. Yet they always act like they do. To me, even though crawling around for the ring was a little thing, I thought that action showed a lot.
In many ways they are already an old married couple, and I mean that in the best possible way. They got married in China 4 months ago almost to the day, (you realize now you have to remember 2 anniversaries right?) and got first one, and then two pets together, their bunnies, about two years ago. But now, Maggie, it really is too late to back out. Though, even with all your joking around, everyone knew you wouldn’t. You both fully committed to making this relationship work years ago, and I am so happy and honoured to be here today with both of you.
If everyone will please raise a glass with me - to the happy couple! May you have many happy years in front of you.”
The Best Woman’s speech (in which she casually tells my family that almost every one of my friends had the initial impression that I was gay):
“Hi, my name is Jess, Jeremy’s best man.
Jeremy and I have been friends since my first year at UofT. We quickly bonded over an impulsive trip for cookies and ice cream and have been stirring up trouble ever since. Jeremy has not always been a good influence. I’m reminded especially of him encouraging me to steal rolley chairs from the Electrical and Computer Engineering (ECE) Club office and playing bumper cars in the Engineering atrium during a busy lunch hour. We were rolling around for a while when the ECE department chair saw us, shook his head and walked away. All the while, Jeremy waved frantically trying to get his attention. But, that’s why we are friends, and as Jeremy would say, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Maggie was there that day. I’m not really sure why she put up with us, but i’m sure glad she did. Jeremy, you better keep her close, or I’ll be forced to sweep in and steal her away!
So I have to embarrass you a little bit. Here goes. For some reason, as many of the guests who have been with us in Engineering can attest, the first time most people meet Jeremy, they get the impression that he is gay. I guess, now that he’s finally married, we can confirm that he is not. It was a close call, though, more than half the wedding party is female and he DID almost forget the wedding licence. By the way, you thought you were safe asking a woman to be your best man, but you never know, I could still steal Maggie. Maggie, we could still run away together.
On a more serious note, despite Jeremy’s impulsive nature and his fundamental need to start arguments with just about everyone, he is the best friend I could ask for. He is one of the smartest people I know, and he always has your best interest at heart. He has always been quick to make friends, attracting attention (positive or negative, emphasis on the negative) with his bubbly personality. Before Maggie, he would spend all of his time in the Engineering atrium at the University of Toronto, telling everyone about how there is nothing better than strawberries, chocolate and cookies, helping everyone with their problems and procrastinating on his own work.
Since meeting Maggie, Jeremy has definitely started become more of an adult. She’s kept him from doing some very silly things and definitely helped to control his candy habit. They even recently bought a house, and when I told Jeremy he was becoming an adult, he disagreed. He said to me “I’m always going to be a kid at heart. Now, I’ve got a whole house to be a kid in!” I will always remember the day they first got the keys to the home, when Maggie asked Jeremy if they could run around the 1st floor, chasing each other around a loop. Seeing the two of you interact, I have no doubt that you are a match made in heaven. Congratulations to you both.
Cheers to the happy couple!”